Kolache FAIL
Kelly Posted on Friday, November 13, 2009 at 10:02 AM 
I pass by a kolache place everyday on my way to work. I don't often stop there, but lately I've been craving one very special kolache. The Kolache. I had it for the first time a few months ago, and since then, it's like my life has just been one long journey with the sole purpose of finding my way back. To The Kolache.
Today, I stopped, got out of the car, walked into the store, and said something along the lines of "Do you have any of those special kolaches that are like a min-loaf of magic bread that the angels in heaven filled with eggs, and cheese, and perhaps... bacon?"
The cashier walks into the back, picks up what looks to be The Kolache, and says "This?"
"Yes! I'll take one of those with eggs, cheese and bacon! Plus two regular kolaches!" (To eat later. DON'T JUDGE ME.).
I grabbed some orange juice for the road and gave her my credit card. Just after signing the receipt, I look in the bag and only saw the two regular kolaches. No The Kolache. The Kolache was missing.
Whatthefuckityhell?
"Oh, we don't have any of the ones with egg. Sold out."
Remember the whole F.U.T.K. tee-shirt scandal when the Dixie Chicks got mad at Toby Keith?
Well, I believe that today on my lunch break, I'll go on down to Hobby Lobby, pick up some puffy paint, and make my very own F.U.K.F. shirt. The K.F. clearly stands for Kolache Factory.
Bastards.
By the way, I just googled sausage kolache to find an image for those of you who are not blessed to have kolaches where you live. This was my absolute favorite image in the search results:
Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights= sausage kolache. I get it.
By the way by the way, when the heck does The Hangover come out on DVD? I need to have this movie in my life. And the illegal bootleg copy with bad dubbing that I may or may not have in my possession right now is just not cutting it.
I have had this stuck in my head all week...
...and now you probably will too. So sorry.
View Printer Friendly Version
Email Article to Friend
Reader Comments (9)
I have SO many things to say (write) about that post. First, I'm too lazy for "the google" and I don't know what kolache is. Although if sausage kolache brings up Tim Riggins, I'm sure I'd want to devour it! Oh, how I love me some Tim Riggins!
Second, when I spent the summer in Italy I got my first expose to French Connection United Kingdom products - F.C.U.K in other words. I bought a t-shirt and when I wore it in front of my mom I thought her heart was going to stop right then and there. Somehow that shirt never survived it's first run through the washing machine.
Hope ya'll are doing well!
love tim riggins. did you see him in Snakes on a Plane? he is in one of the opening scenes. i will not write anymore about it. you must see it. never had a kolache before. looks like a pig in a blanket. i must have the Hangover on DVD, too. one of the best films in years and i am a tough critic. the thought of Tom and John remaking Butch Cassidy has my ass twitching non-stop. send me one of those tees. i want to support the cause.
I'm not sure what a kolanche is, but Tim Riggins is HOT! Forget the Hangover, now I'm not going to be able to get Riggins out of my head ... not that that's a bad thing...
as an nyc girl i can't say i'm crazy about kolaches.....much more a bagels and lox girl....however i feel your pain...when i was 5 mo prego i made my waitress at IHOP cry b/c she kept screwing up my order and then threw it out when i asked her to just box it up so i could leave.....
had no clue who tim riggins was UNTIL NOW.....YUUUUUUMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!!
HANGOVER = WET MOVIE SEAT......WATCH WITH CAUTION - IN UR CASE IT MAY = WET SOFA SEAT
LOVE YA GIRLIE!
I fucking LOVE kolaches! Pig in a blanket, holla!
How funny, I'll have to see it on DVD. I'm not crazy about kolaches, sorry.
Never had kolache. Don't even know how to pronounce it. Great, now I am off to search for it myself. Yet another knew fatty obsession we can share. LOL!
This last time we were in Houston I made my hubs try Kolache Factory and he had a bacaon, egg and cheese kolache for the first time ever, he was amazed. They are so flippin' good, my fave kolaches by far. There is a place off 290 that has the best cream cheese kolaches and there is a place on Richmond, The Kolache Shop, they have the best bacon kolaches. It's a tiny, old place but really good. Can you tell I love kolaches?
Your pregnancy means that you have complete and total justification to go crazy when not fed what you want immediately. Relish it. Because that ends about 1.2 seconds after you give birth.
I can't wait for The Hangover to come out on DVD! I missed it at the theater (because I had a newborn of my own) and I was dying to see it.