I love a pregnant woman with a gun
Kelly Posted on Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 11:28 AM I have so much to tell you!
I was writing this post in my head while driving home last night, but I have a looong drive home, and I kept thinking of more things. Lucky you, it's all going in one post!
Don't Mess with Texas
Apparently there's some controversy about the circumstances, but the story goes that earlier this week in Houston an 8 month pregnant woman shot a man who she saw breaking into cars at her apartment complex.
Don't you know? All pregnant women in Texas have guns... and we're not afraid to use them!
So in honor of this gun-totin' future mama, I would like to share a song with you. I'm sure you've heard this before, as it's been floating around the Internet since 1982. I keep it on the desktop of my work computer and play it when appropriate.
Appropriate times to play it are NOT when you are "annoyed" or "frustrated", but when:
1. When you want to cut a bitch
2. When you just did cut a bitch
3. Your boss "suggests" that you take the rest of the day off.
Enjoy....
A Song for Stress
In other local news...
I saw the Bolivian Consulate driving home yesterday! It was so random and oddly fascinating. Driving toward my little suburban community 25 miles outside of Houston, there it was, a plain building with a tiny sign, Consulate of Bolivia. Who knew?
I had one good day and then I remembered where I work
To say that I have been emotional lately would be a gross understatement. I'm fighting my way through this depression, and I'm doing the best I can. Anyway, one day last week at work, I was with some women in my department planning our office Halloween decorations.
We pulled stuff out of storage, and to be silly, I put on a big black curly wig. Someone laughed, then I looked in the mirror. It was funny, and amazingly, I laughed too. I was having fun. Next, I put on glasses, a feather boa, cowboy hat. Someone suggested we take a picture and put it next to the tombstone we were using in the decorations.
I'm just trying to make the point that I was enjoying myself, making other people laugh, having fun, for five minutes I wasn't sick with worry...
Later I found out that at the time, a co-worker went to another co-worker and said:
"She (meaning ME) shouldn't be doing this... because she's pregnant... I'm superstitious and it might cause something bad to happen to her baby."
W to the T to the F????? Being silly? Participating in freaking Halloween? Her being superstitious? What EXACTLY is going to cause something bad to happen to my baby?
I just... I wish I could confront her. It's really the stupidest thing I've ever heard. But that's the deal with where I work. It's completely, close your ears eyes... FUCKED.
Since I found all this out on Tuesday, she hasn't been to work. She doesn't know I know she said that. I will probably just let it all go, for my sake. But seriously, what the hell?
This same person also told almost everyone at work that I'm pregnant. It's really disappointing. First, it forced me to tell my boss before I was ready. But also because with my last pregnancy, I never got to do the big "announcement". I was looking forward to it when I was ready, but now everyone knows, and it just feels awkward because I wasn't the one to tell them.
Great, now I'm wishing I had ended with the Whip Ass song. Now I need to listen to it.
Okay let's end this with some good news...
I saw the baby!
I had an ultrasound on Monday, and the baby measured right at 11 weeks. I got to see all the kicks and punches and facial features. Amazing. For those few minutes I felt nothing but calm and peace. My next appointment is December 1. Dr. GB said there's a chance we might be able to see the gender. Whenever I think about that, I can't help but be excited!
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Reader Comments (11)
Why would someone think playing with Halloween stuff is superstitious I'll never understand. And it would figure that she's the office blabber mouth.
1. Gun toting preggo's are not to be messed with.
2. Your coworker is a fruit cake.
Hi Kelly,
I'm killing my blog "Jeanette's Journey" and have started something new. I'm taking you with me there if you don't mind because I'll be interested to see if you become the gun toting preggo chasing your co-worker!
Hugs!
Jeanette
I don't know where to start- the bitch at work or a gun wielding 8 month pregnant lady? I can't believe someone would even think those kind of thoughts, much less, actually make them into intelligible words and speak them aloud. To someone else. That wasn't their imaginary friend. It's just terrible!
But I'am SO glad that you got to see your little one!!! I'm glad you were able to feel some peace and calm during those moments :)
Don't mess with Texas!
Woo hoo, you saw the baby!
As far as the whackadoodle at work goes: why bother legitimizing her b.s. opinions by confronting her? I do think it would be fine to let her know she stole your thunder as far as announcing your pregnancy. Perhaps you could announce something for her like when she plans on getting a clue.
My sister is pregnant and we've hidden the guns. I don't think an explanation is needed! I'm sorry you didn't get to break the big news at work, that's not fair! But, I'm glad you got to see the precious little one.
So funny you posted that song! I was thinking about it yesterday :) It was a good time to listen to it and try to get past was Garden Hose Head did. But if someone else didn't FORCE you to tell GHH, then she never would have been able to say anything.
They may have stolen your moment from you and that's just selfish and rude, but consider the subject...it's all because you have a precious perfect little angel coming and compared to that, those assholes really don't even matter.
That is so awesome you got to see the baby, that is like the most exciting moment of pregnancy, only trumped by finding out the gender. Can't wait till your next ultrasound.
Song is perfect. I may sing it every. single. day. I got a new job so we'll see how much I need it!
Eff that lady. She sounds like a major idiot. Take the high road my dear. You'll be rewarded, promise!
Is it ok that I obsessively check to see if your post is up? Hm.
Viva Bolivia!
(Weirdest comment I have ever left.)
You could bring in a plastic gun (or water gun) and wave it around at your work. Now's the time to really live it up and act crazy. Just blame it on the pregnancy and extra hormones. When I was preggers, people would say, "oh how are you feeling?" and I'd never hold back. I'd say, "this baby is kicking the crap out of me!" Or "How would you feel if you had to pee every ten minutes," You know, friendly stuff like that.
At the very least you should post a sign on your car or your office door that says, "Consulate of Crazy Baby Mama. Don't Mess With Me. I Carry A Gun..." or something like that! ;-)
Keep having fun, and who cares about the stupid office folks. And keep enjoying this pregnancy b/c all the really scary stuff happens after the baby comes. I'm just sayin' (and being honest! ;-)
1. U SAID "CUT A BITCH", AND I HEART U EVEN MORE FOR THAT.
2. EVERYONE IS SAYING LET IT GO....UMMMM....I'M GONNA HAVE TO DISAGREE HERE....I'M NOT SAYING CALL OUT ASSFACE AND TELL HER POINT BLANK HOW MUCH OF A MORON SHE IS - ALTHOUGH YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH IT B/C PREGNANCY GIVES YOU A NINE MONTH BITCH PASS....BUT I AM A HUGE FAN OF THE POINTED BUT HIDDEN IN INNUENDO SIDE BARB....YOU KNOW THE KIND....THE KIND WHERE YOU SAY IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY THAT ONLY SHE WOULD GET "I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID BITCH AND IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE FACT THAT I'M NOT REALLY A FAN OF HAVING MY BABY IN JAIL I WOULD KNOCK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK RIGHT THE F-U-C-K NOW. OH AND BY THE WAY - YOU'RE AN IDIOT ASSMUNCH WHO SHOULD HAVE HER LIPS SEWN SHUT"....
BUT WHAT REALLY COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS "I THINK PEOPLE WHO TRY TO PUT THE HOODOO VOODOO SUPERSTITIONS ON OTHER PEOPLE ARE JUST SAD....WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT....DON'T THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LIVES TO LEAD?? TSK TSK TSK - SO SAD, AND MORONIC".....
SHE KNOWS IT MEANT RIGHT FOR HER, AND MAYBE THE PERSON SHE TOLD KNOWS...BUT TO EVERYONE ELSE UR JUST MAKING A STATEMENT....
SIDEBARB AWAY MY DEAR!