Pregzilla
Kelly Posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 at 11:35 AM I'm looking for advice, sympathy, similar experiences- anything. Or if you think I'm a crazy/hormonal crybaby, feel free to say that too. I should probably post this on the Baby Center message boards, which I'm utterly obsessed with. However, most of those women don't know the difference between their/ there and think pergnant is the correct spelling of a word. (ouch, I know).
I went in for an OB appointment on Monday. I was anxious to go mostly to get the results of my Level II (detailed) ultrasound from two weeks ago. Here's what went down.
First, for Husband to go, I have to make the appointments at 3pm. It's after work for him, but unfortunately it's the middle of my work day. It's always impossible for me to leave work on time, which means I have to rush to tie up loose ends, drive like a manic, and show up 10 minutes late with a racing heart, feeling completely stressed out.
The doctor comes in, tells me the results of the ultrasound were "normal" and that I'm 20 weeks, 1 day. This is 5 days off from what I he's been telling me. So now my due date is further away?? Is this all based on my "normal" ultrasound??
Also, at the ultrasound, the tech said that she couldn't get good pictures of the heart. So how can he say that's it's all "normal" when we haven't examined the baby's heart??
*Note my extreme confusions by the use of double question marks.
Then he says he made a note in my chart about pre-term labor precautions, saying "Now we have to worry about pre-term labor."
Whaaa??
A million questions are whirling through my head.
Do I need another ultrasound to look at the heart?
Is my baby's growth not on target?
When the hell is my due date?
Whachya talking 'bout, pre-term labor?????
So all while a mini-panic attack is brewing inside my head, Dr. GB is only concerned with finding the sex on his ultrasound, which was ALREADY DETERMINED AT THE LEVEL II ULTRASOUND AT THE HOSPITAL TWO WEEKS AGO!
He and Husband are talking about something stupid, and I'm getting hotter and more worried.
All of a sudden Dr. GB says "Alright, see you in four weeks."
Don't cry... don't cry... breath... fuck it's hot in here... don't cry...
I struggle to pull myself together. Inside I'm yelling ASK YOUR DAMN QUESTIONS, KELLY!
Then Dr. GB says, "Wow, you're really red. Why are you so red?"
Hmmm, I have no idea. Maybe because this is the same room where you told me that my daughter had no heartbeat, where less than a year ago you ripped out my heart. Or maybe because you just threw around words like normal and pre-term labor and 20 weeks, 1 day. No, wait! It's because I've waited fourfreakingweeks for this appointment and everyday I think this will be the day this baby's heart stops beating and it's kinda hard to be a normal functioning human being when that's the kind of crazy shit going through my head.
So I do what I do anytime I'm freaking out. I told everyone I'm fine and left. I mostly held it together, power walking to my car where I immediately started bawling upon arrival.
I cried the rest of the night.
I have no idea if any of this would be better with a different doctor. Maybe it would all be worse. Maybe it's cruel and unusual punishment to spend ten minutes every few weeks at the scene of the worst day of my life.
How could I not feel bad in that room? How could I not want to cry, scream and run?
Wacky hormones mixed with job/marriage/life stress can be a toxic combination. There should be some kind of warning label on pregnant women.
PREGZILLA WARNING:
Do not allow social interactions lasting longer than seven minutes.
Do not frustrate, confuse, contradict, annoy or comment on weight.
Feed regularly.
Never mention the treadmill.
Anyway, it's been a few days, and I'm not as upset. Although I'm still considering a new doctor (as if that's even an option at this point). I've made another appointment for February, and in the meantime, I'm going to try to stay positive. I'm feeling little kicks more often now, and I can't even explain how thankful I am for each one. So for now, that's enough.
Tell me it's all going to be okay, and I'll love you forever.
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Reader Comments (9)
Totally normal to freak like that - I would have. That's bullshit that your doctor doesn't give you time to ask questions and even prompt you to do do. I switched Dr.'s this time around because my first, while nice, was hardly ever who I saw and I felt like a passenger boarding a Southwest Airline flight in the waiting room. Just get in line. My new Dr. is super cool, never rushes me, is very informative and asks all kinds of questions - even prys about my mood. I totally recommend it - you need someone that embraces this with you and gets you through it.
I think it's important that you find your voice with your doctor. Whether it's this doctor or a different one, it doesn't matter. Doctors aren't always great at reading minds. Yours might not even realize s/he was unclear or didn't give you the information you need. There's always going to be more information you want to know. So, why not ask. They're a wealth of information and will likely give you what you need. That certainly will set your mind at ease about all those unanswered questions. Why not follow up with a phone call to this doctor - see if s/he'll answer your questions over the phone or by email.
You are so very normal!! Pregnancy brings out the CRAZY in everyone. But I can't believe they were throwing around all those words without any explanation. I wish I had some real words of comfort for you, besides e"verything is going to be okay." And it will be okay!
Your doctor won't change your due date unless it's WAY off. He probably forgot or doesn't know how to read. My (former) OB did that all the time. It was fucking annoying. If you didn't get the results you needed you should definitely seek another ultrasound at another doctor's office. Or have your OB refer you to a perinatal specialist. And don't ever, EVER, ask those ditzy 'tards on Baby Center anything. That website is like crack for pregnant women.
Can you email your doctor? When I was pregnant I would always have all kinds of questions and I was able to email my doctor and she would get back to me pretty quickly.
Awww Sweetie, I know it hard because of everything you've been through but try to look at this pregnancy as completely separate (harder than it sounds, I know). You're feeling the baby move and that is a great sign so try not to obsess over it. I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV, and everything is probably fine. You probably have a wiggly worm baby in there and it was hard to get a clear image. I wish you the best and hopefully your next ultrasound will give you more peace. And in the future DO NOT LEAVE the doctor's office until you have your questions answered, you pay him for that!
You should seriously call him and make him answer your questions. I totally know how you felt though; there were times I felt like my doctor was done and so I should be too, even if I still had questions. I think OBs forget when it is the first time for us because it is so routine for them. You are not crazy, and he needs to answer your questions NOW (not at your next appointment).
I agree you absolutely should call him back with your questions even if just to easy your mind. Please remember that your doctor works for YOU. This means your are the boss, especially when it comes to your body. You also have the right to ask for a second opinion. By no means should you feel guilty about it.The due date can change a little 3-5 days is the average range. Also the pregnancies of the women in your family are very similar to your own, genetics. All of the women in my family carry an extra two weeks, so I was prepared mentally. My OB with both of my pregnancies said that my boys were growing at low birth weight and were worried about development ie. intro growth retardation and wanted to take them early. Naturally the first I completely freaked out. They gave me a week to put on more weight in the hopes that he would and I eat like a mad woman (note-I was not at a low pregnancy weight). Didn't work, I gained 9lbs he gained 1.2lb. The proceeded to strip my membranes with out telling what exactly that procedure was (NOT FUN). I lost my plug a few days later and still went two weeks past my due date. He was 7lb 7 oz and perfect. Needless to say when the same issue arose with my second, I stopped him mid sentence and said "Been here before and not worried". I am 5'4 my husband is 5'8 my mom is an inch shorter than me and my dad an inch shorter than my husband. Little people, little babies more cook time. I tell you this so that you will see that doctors are not perfect. Listen to your instincts, talk to him about your concerns and request another ultra sound if you want. If he tells you no, remind him it's your body and you can get one if you like.
Keep your chin up and stay positive.
It's all going to be ok.
And don't worry about asking your questions. You deserve to have answers. Good luck!